One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory – Rita Mae Brown
If you have had a bad relationship or two leaving you empty, angry and vengeful, you know how difficult it sometimes is to forgive… and to forget…and to love again.
It’s easy to point the finger of blame to the other party involved. Especially when you invested so much, and some more, in that doomed relationship. Ultimately, it robs you off your happiness.
To be happy again, one has to be strong enough to forgive and stubborn enough to even forget. And, most importantly, forgetful enough to be able to love again!
Therein lies the secret key to your happiness – to forget!
To Forget Is To Forgive.
How to forget
How does one forget all the good memories that one shared with an ex? How does one erase a part of his life? Is it even required so?
We have our own ways dealing with matters of the heart; for some it may be talking about and through it, and for some, it is to not to bring the matter up at all, ever.
Forgetting one’s past, good or bad, is not possible or even commendable. Forgetting simply means that we learn from our mistakes and try to remember the few things we have done right (or so we thought!), also. We do have the choice to focus on our good experiences rather than the bad.
We should learn to ignore the negative things said and done in a relationship to be civil again with one another. Accept the fact that you are, most certainly, partly to be blamed also, for the failed relationship. For, a relationship is a two-way street. You give and receive. Nobody’s perfect, including you. That’s how you will learn to be more forgiving of yourself and the ex.
However way we deal with such misadventures, it is important to forget and move on. Make yourself insanely happy then naturally you will forget your unpleasant past. And be able to forgive.
Good memories are hard to let go. And things can get complicated when the said relationship went on for some considerable time. You now have these extended relationships with others also. You were part of an entity that now no longer exists. You have to rebuild your own identity even.
However, people change and so do their hearts, unfortunately. If you are the one with the unchanged heart and your thoughts often stray to the good memories and times with that ex of yours, it’s time to let go…forget.
Learn to take a bird’s eye-view of your past.
Look at the big picture. In the scheme of things it may not be worth being hateful and depressed. You will only lose more if you dwell on the past. The future has so much more in store for you. That’s a promise.
Take an outsider’s view of your life
Especially the times that you keep coming back to. Listen again to all the naysayers who advised you not to get into that relationship in the first place. They may have been right, after all.
If you can successfully employ one of the above techniques you will definitely come up with a fresh perspective and see the truth. See things the way they really are. You have been charmed and blinded by your love. Now, its time to get real and face the world.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” – 1 John 4:7
How to love again
Understandably, this is easier said than done.
Mostly people, including yours truly, need time to find ourselves again. It takes time to assess our goals and objectives, and our station in life.
Fortunately, time is the best healer of broken hearts and wounded prides!
Time allows one to revamp one’s life. Time allows us to be patient with ourselves. Time, slowly but surely, makes us whole again so that we can partake in this great adventure called love.
Re-design your life
Change your habits. Maybe even change your activities. If the relationship was that bad even change your circle of friends.
You have to move away from familiar faces and places and activities that remind you of your past relationship.
Physical change will enable a mental change.
Meet new people. You will soon realize there are interesting people out there! And that is important.
The demise of a relationship is the birth of a new one!